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Why am I awake? Ugh - it also feels like I’ve had ZERO time to myself and I’m straight back to work tomorrow and Wednesday nightshift AGAIN!! Can’t handle nights, I may have to give that shift up! Far too much pressure on the staff at that place to cover like all the shifts, we’re short staffed yet they’re taking FOOOOREVER to start the interviews and hire 4 people like come on to fuck man!! Ugh

Anyway, I’ve had a lovely evening with Brian! We had to go in town to take a tshirt of his back then Asda for tea but we had tea, watched neighbours then went for a wee walk around the block and came back and cosied in the man cave and played GTA for a bit then watched a film and now I can’t sleep!

It’s far too hot but I can’t sleep without covers 😩.


Me and Brian have been a little bit rocky, for once it’s him, not me, as he’s been picking stupid little fights and doing everything that he knows would annoy me!! But after a stupid fight he picked the other night even when I tried my hardest to not argue back (which is hard to believe) and me almost texting some guy who gave me his phone number. I think whatever was bothering him he knows he can’t take out on me! Whatever it may be, I don’t know cause he’s a guy and won’t let me in, I hope it’s okay!

I know he loves me deep down! Sometimes he’ll forget to show it, sometimes I’ll take him for granted but he’s definitely been there for me after this fight and being completely awesome with me while I’m fighting whatever illness I’m getting now!! And it just reminds me of how strong we are and how much he annoys me he really loves me and I love him!

I mean yesterday he came to pick me up after nightshift, then cuddled with me to make me go to sleep then got up and went to the shops and bought me breakfast, cooked it and then cleaned up and then took me on town (I was told it was for him) but he got my watch fixed, bought me a “Los pollos harmanos” tshirt (one I’ve been wanting for ages now) I asked obviously but he usually says no, or gives me the money and I’ll pay him back which I offered and he said no to which I thought yay a new tshirt I can go home happy!! Also he didn’t want me waiting for my watch to get fixed cause he knows I love my moustache watch, I didn’t want him paying but he said it was fine, so I was like “okay let’s get you something for your birthday” so we went looking and he was looking at jeans and I said he could pick out jeans and I’ll get him them for his birthday and he said no, said he didn’t want anything for his birthday as I had to save for Florida, which obviously i disagreed, he has to get something! He deserves it! Then we went into one shop and I noticed a converse bag I’ve been looking on eBay for was only £25 and I was dying to have £25 there at that moment and Brian picked it up, I was like “what you doing?” He was like “you want this so I’m gone get you it” I obviously said no and he disagreed but I’m glad when we got to the till the woman was like “£12.50 please” it was half price so he didn’t spend too much on me. Cause he too has to save for Florida! But apparently he wanted to make me feel better, he also took me out for tea/lunch and then we went home and we went to sleep (I went to sleep cause I was back on nightshift) but I woke up in a freak as I felt dizzy and sick and just not feeling right at all and he jumped to my rescue to get mee ice cold water and then took me out for a walk to get fresh air which did help but then I had to leave for work 😩! Where I spent most of the night, being far too cold, far too hot, far too tired, far too dizzy and then at some point around 4 I think I fell asleep lmfao! Oops. Oh well.

But he’s been really sweet and I love it! He’s even text me to see how I’m feeling and making sure I got up at a good time so I would get sleep tonight! I hope this lasts! I like this feeling and I like sharing it with Brian! 💙

Also this guy I was going to text, I was going to but then didn’t then I thought why can’t we be friends? But I didn’t think about it until Gemma tells me she has a bad feeling and usually Gemma’s guy is right and omg SHE WAS RIGHT! Me and Brian were having a gene real talk about customers in the shop and I bring up the guy that gave me his number and I was going to tell him he gave me his number then Brian comes away with “oh Steve… Sort of looks like…” My heart just stopped because he described him to a tee then later showed me a photo, Brian has met this guy and he knows him and this guys knows our friends!😐 I’m so glad I didn’t text him even if it was friends!!

Besides doing that to Brian would have been a shitty move as I’ve been in that position and no matter how rocky we made this relationship he doesn’t deserve that!! So the number is deleted and I’ll never think of doing such a thing again!!

Anyway that’s my mind dump done for the day! I better get up though, still in bed!


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